


locked heart without a key

by chaoticgay (Niriiun)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-04-25 08:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14375058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niriiun/pseuds/chaoticgay
Summary: Jackson was enigmatic and handsome, with a voice that worked perfectly for both singing and acting. Youngjae was a tired film student who really wished he'd overslept. Or, Youngjae falls into a very handsome man's arms and suddenly he's acting in a drama.





	1. spearmint chapstick

**Author's Note:**

> a shameless au I've been wanting to write for a while!  
> there will eventually be jaebum/jinyoung as well!  
> there are some ocs but it's mostly just the director, the receptionist, and a few other filler characters!!
> 
> basically jackson is a soloist / actor and youngjae is a tired film student and the universe just won't let him be

Youngjae’s first, and very important, thought of the day was that _maybe_ spearmint chapstick had been a bad idea. A very, _very_ bad idea. It was windy out and with every gust that had the audacity to mess up his not-so-carefully-placed hairstyle, his lips burned in protest at the chill. Really, spearmint just didn’t like any kind of cold, and Youngjae hated that, on top of his internal war with his favourite chapstick, today just didn’t want to let him catch a break.

He was running late, and running late on the very first day of your new job was not, and never would be, a good idea. The chances of Youngjae making a good first impression were rapidly declining, and it was all because he couldn’t seem to hail a cab. Every single one seemed to be full that day, or out of service, and one even had a flat tire. Really, the universe seemed to be trying everything it could to deter him from arriving on time. Plus his lips burned. A lot. 

Youngjae didn’t let that stop him, however. There was no way he could be late to such an important job. It was his third time being hired by this company, and they’d seemed to enjoy his skills well enough to hire the film student to shoot another drama. While the other two were good, they weren’t _top class_ good. This drama though? This drama had some of South Korea’s top actors in it, and Youngjae had been one of the lucky cameramen hired to work on set. Such a high class drama, especially when he wasn’t even out of college yet, would boost his chances of landing a permanent job once he was completely out into the world. Yet the universe still seemed to have it out for him.

Although he didn’t have any heavy equipment with him just yet, he felt like his feet were being held down by weights. Youngjae looked up and down the streets in a slight panic. The studio was only a five minute drive away. He could make it in time if he ran. Emphasis on the _run_ part.

After a quick Google search for directions, Youngjae tightened the straps on his backpack and hurried off down the street. The student tried his hardest to avoid running into people, swerving around those glancing at their phones or watches, and throwing out a sorry over his shoulder when he could manage it. First day on the job and he was going to arrive covered in sweat and looking like a mess. That was fine though; he was behind the camera, not in front.

Youngjae nearly shouted in relief as the studio came into sight. He had three minutes to spare before his shift started. The receptionist greeted him with a bright smile and Youngjae waved in response, trying his hardest to gain his breath. “Choi Youngjae?”

“Ah, the new kid! Quite an exciting set you’re getting to work on.” He watched as she typed something into the computer, probably noting when he arrived. “Not many people get lucky enough to work with Jackson Wang.”

Youngjae’s breath caught, eyes wide as he stared at the receptionist. “Wait, _the_ Jackson Wang? Like, _Midnight Kiss_ and _Azure Dreams_ Jackson?”

She laughed at him, sliding a security card across the counter. It had a picture of him in the corner, signifying it belonged to him. “Yes, that Jackson. I’m surprised you didn’t know.” The receptionist dug around for a moment before producing a lanyard to go with it. “Follow this hall straight down and take a right. The studio will be the third door on the left. Good luck, Youngjae!”

Youngjae managed to squeak out a thank you, taking the security card and lanyard in separate hands. He turned to make his way down the hall, eyes wide. Suddenly everything seemed overwhelming. Jackson Wang, a solo idol who had debuted nearly two years ago, had recently started up his acting career. He’d achieved tremendous success, receiving more offers than he really knew what to do with. Youngjae would be lying if he said he wasn’t a fan. Jackson Wang was enigmatic and handsome, with a voice that worked perfectly for both singing and acting.

How could anyone _not_ like him?

It was alright. He would be alright. Youngjae was just there to film the indoor scenes anyway. Within two weeks, they’d be moving to an outdoor location and he’d be able to breathe again. Now he just had to survive seeing Jackson Wang in person. Easier said [thought?] than done.

Youngjae chased away his thoughts as the studio door came into view. A large STAGE THREE was printed in red letters upon its smooth surface. He swallowed his nerves and turned the handle, peering inside. Things were dark, but Youngjae could see people moving around in a hurry. There was no one to greet him, which was strange for a first day, and he slipped into the room as quietly as he could. He was officially on time but was two minutes late getting to his scheduled location.

Not a single soul paid attention to him, and maybe the universe had decided to give him one break. Youngjae shuffled over to the spreadsheet pinned carefully on their news wall, locating his name and just where his station would be. Section six, by the dressing rooms. Where the actors would walk out from … and he’d be required to greet. The break he’d been handed was so quickly snatched, and he waved a fist at the sky for the duality of it.

“I can do this. I’ll be fine.” Youngjae nodded fiercely to himself and went to deposit his things in the small locker space in the back corner. His security card allowed access and he stuffed his phone and jacket within it. The lanyard was clipped to the card and slipped over his neck, Youngjae marveling at how nice it’d turned out. The student clapped his hands together before forming them into a small heart, a routine he’d gotten into the habit of before every shooting. A good luck charm, in a way.

Youngjae slid the locker shut and trotted over to where his station was located, glancing at the tangled mass of cords and equipment. Whoever had used this spot last really didn’t know how to clean up. It was still thirty minutes before shooting so the young man crouched down and immediately began to fight with the cables. After several minutes of this, Youngjae gave up. He’d just have to be careful when he stepped back and forth.

When he straightened out, he caught sight of what he assumed was the director and several others speaking together. From what he could hear, their tones were a bit panicked and although his interest had been piqued, it wasn’t really any of his business. Something about the male lead; he silently hoped it wouldn’t affect filming.

Youngjae forced to focus back on his camera. It was a newer model but still one he was familiar with. The metal frame holding it up was cool to the touch. Honestly, it was a bit intimidating; it probably cost more than his tuition for a whole year. He went through the daily check and setup without much thought, hands shifting deftly as they fell into a practiced routine. He straightened himself and ran a hand through his hair, making a satisfied noise at completing his task.

Still no one had come to greet him and he was getting a bit anxious. There were no directions, no word from the lead cameraman, and the director had barely spared a glance towards him. Something had to be going on. Maybe Youngjae should just go ask? Yeah, that seemed like a good idea. He moved to head over and immediately felt his foot catch on something. _The cords._ He’d completely forgotten about the cords, and the universe just really wanted to fuck with him today.

Youngjae stumbled but wasn’t able to recover, falling forward. Only he didn’t hit the floor. Instead, arms wrapped around his waist and he heard a soft laugh. “Careful there, we don’t need our actors getting hurt.”

His gaze swiveled up and he felt his heart drop out of his body. He was much prettier in person, with gentle looking eyes and a sweet smile that seemed permanently stuck to his face. Makeup had already been done and even though it was probably hiding a mole or two, Youngjae was sure it was absolutely flawless underneath as well. And his voice … his heart fluttered back into his chest, eyes wide as the plate he’d eaten off last night. Jackson fucking Wang had saved him from falling, with his arms, which were currently holding him tightly. God, Youngjae felt like he was going to faint.

“U-um,” he pressed a hand against Jackson’s chest, “I’m not an actor. Just a cameraman.”

Jackson’s lips twisted into a momentary pout and Youngjae could only marvel at how cute it looked. “Someone as pretty as you shouldn’t be _behind_ the camera! That’s so unfair.” Those arms shifted to hands upon his shoulders, making sure he was steady on his again before he finally dropped them back to his side.

Youngjae felt like his brain was going to short circuit. Getting called pretty was one thing, but getting called pretty by _Jackson_? What were the odds? “Thank you! For catching me. A-and the compliment.” He was sure he was blushing; his face felt hot.

Jackson laughed again and Youngjae quickly decided that it was his favourite sound, raindrops on pavement be damned. That smile only grew, lighting up his eyes. “I can tell you know who I am. I’m not as intimidating in person, I promise.”

Youngjae had to disagree. He felt like he was going to explode. Or melt. Maybe both. Was that even possible? “Yeah. I’m … a fan. A big one.”

“Well then,” Jackson squinted, “Youngjae! What a good name. Find me once we’re done and I’ll sign something for you.” Then he winked. _Winked!_ If his eyes got any wider they might fall out.

Part of him was glad Jackson didn’t give him a chance to answer, because he didn’t really think he could have. The beautiful man swiveled on his heel and walked over to the director. There was an air of confidence around the way Jackson moved, and Youngjae supposed that made sense. When you were that rich and that beautiful, there was no reason to be _unconfident_.

Youngjae looked back to the camera. He’d completely forgotten his original plan and now he couldn’t seem to find the courage to walk over. Courage was the chosen excuse, because he didn’t think he could handle interacting with Jackson again so soon.

“What do you mean he quit?” The sudden yell brought him from his thoughts. It was the director, looking wide-eyed and frazzled. Youngjae realized the receptionist from before had entered the room, clutching a clipboard in her hands and trying to calm the man down.

“His manager said he got into an accident this morning and won’t be able to perform for two months.” The director ran a hand down his face, trying to keep himself composed.

“We have no other people to fill in, especially at this short of a notice. So much money has gone into this production as well. We’ll be ruined!”

“I have an idea.” The receptionist, director, and Youngjae, even though he wasn’t supposed to be listening in the first place, all paused at Jackson’s voice. “We have someone who fits Kim Minjae perfectly, and he’s right there.” Jackson’s finger rose and suddenly three pairs of eyes were pointed in his direction.

Youngjae glanced behind him in an attempt to see who they were pointing at. There was no one behind him, however, and the realization slowly dawned on him as he looked back at the group of people staring at him. Oh no. _No no no_ . There was no way Jackson Wang, famous soloist actor, was suggesting the poor college student looking like an absolute _disaster_ to star in a drama with him.

“Hmm, now that you mention it, he does kind of fit the role.” The director marched over and practically loomed over him, squinting at his face. Meanwhile, Youngjae was internally screaming and he really wished he couldn’t see the excited gleam in Jackson’s eyes. “You’re Choi Youngjae, yeah? We worked together on _Whisper Me a Lie_. About two months ago?”

Youngjae nodded in response. He was certain that some higher power was toying with him, laughing at the 50 shades of downright nonsense they’d thrown him today. “Yes, that’s me. And I know what you’re thinking but … I’ve literally never acted in my life.” His hands flopped weakly towards the camera. “I’m a cameraman, not an actor.”

Jackson walked over, pausing by the director—Soonchun was his name if he remembered correctly. “He’s perfect! Maybe even more so than our previous cast. Everyone will love him!”

Youngjae couldn’t stop his spudder. “B-but I don’t even know the lines! Again, I’ve never even thought of acting!”

Soonchun stroked his chin, humming in agreeance. “That’s a problem. You’ve never even seen the script.”

“Never!” He quickly said.

Part of him was hoping this was enough but Jackson didn’t look ready to let it go. The actor crossed his arms. “I could teach him personally. It wouldn’t be too hard. Besides, Youngjae looks like the quick-learner type.” He wasn’t but Jackson looked so confident in his words that he really couldn’t disagree. And that smile was blinding him. _Again_.

“You’re just a cameraman, but you do have the potential to become an amazing actor, Youngjae. Our other male lead can be recast easily but since Jackson here has insisted, what do you say? The pay would be exceptional for such a high class drama.” Soonchun nodded at the end of his words.

Youngjae’s attention had already been firmly captured. He was a starving college student struggling to pay rent. A higher pay would practically be saving his life at this point, and Youngjae would grasp onto any lifeline he could in that moment. It totally, one hundred percent, had nothing to do with how fucking _excited_ Jackson looked. Nope, not at all. Not even a little bit.

“I … alright, I’ll give it a try.” What kind of hell had he just agreed to?

Both Soonchun and Jackson clapped their hands together. “Wonderful,” the director said. “We don’t even need to postpone filming today either, since your character Kim Minjae is completely silent the first episode.”

The receptionist, who Youngjae had unfortunately forgotten about, pulled something from her clipboard and thrust it in his direction. It was the script, he realized. Inwardly, Youngjae groaned. Life was about to get harder. Much, much harder. Soonchun walked off with her, probably discussing just how everything was going to proceed from that point. They’d need to hire a new cameraman for station six as well.

“So then, Youngjae, looks like I’ll be your teacher and practice partner.” Jackson smiled, and Youngjae felt his heart drop to the floor again. It rolled and rolled and probably went all the way home, because his toes felt like they were going numb, and he realized he had forgotten to breathe in the brilliance that was Jackson Wang. “We’ll have to get here even earlier in the mornings so you can practice for each episode, and we’ll make sure you know them by each scene break. Sound good?”

No, it did not sound good, but Youngjae couldn’t argue. “That … alright. How early, so I can set my alarm?”

“5:30! I’m sure you’ve gotten up that early before.”

Youngjae whined. “5:30? You’re trying to kill me!”

That laugh, light and cheerful, graced his ears again. “Of course not. Instead of just an autograph after filming, I’ll give you my number too. You’ll need it.” Jackson winked again and Youngjae really wished he’d slept in today. He had, but he wished for more. “Now then, looks like you’ll have to go to makeup. Our valiant director is probably explaining the situation now.” With that, the actor walked away and Youngjae felt everything in him sag.

Just what was he getting into? He felt like he was going to be sick, nerves and anxiety balling up in his stomach and twisting until it was uncomfortable. Youngjae raised the script and read the title. _Locked Heart_. An interesting title. He read lower, reaching the brief synopsis and feeling his toes grow cold again.

_Kwon Jaesun is a loud, charismatic student with a big secret; he’s in love with the new transfer student. Kim Minjae is a quiet soul who reads too much, and he really can’t figure out why the school’s most sought-after guy is suddenly paying him attention._

It was a gay drama. A very, _very_ gay drama, and Youngjae felt his mouth drop open. There was nothing wrong with that because he too was A Gay™ but acting something like this out with Jackson? Was the actor trying to stop his heart?

He remembered to breathe, and everything swam as he grew lightheaded. Everything that had just happened in the last ten minutes replayed in his mind.

Youngjae was going to make his debut as an actor, in a gay drama, where Jackson Wang was in love with him. Jackson Wang, who was going to teach him how to act and memorize lines and _give him his fucking number_.

Yeah, it was official. Youngjae.exe had crashed.

Somewhere, somehow, a heavenly deity was on the ground rolling in laughter. Yeah, the universe really did have it out for him.


	2. frozen yogurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae struggles during his first week of filming, and even when he's given a break it doesn't seem to last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is unbeta'd, I apologize!  
> this got really long as well oops

His first day wasn’t so bad. True to Jackson’s word, his only real acting in the first episode required a few close up shots in their makeshift classroom set and him sitting in the grass outside. Youngjae had gone into autopilot as soon as makeup was over. It was terrifying being the center of attention but sitting and looking pretty didn’t really require much brain power.

Everything had passed by in a blur, with Youngjae being introduced to the production staff and earning more than a few shocked looks in his direction. He couldn’t really blame them. Getting cast in a high class drama at such short notice was not to be taken lightly. Especially when he had literally nothing under his belt acting wise. On top of this, Soonchun introduced him to the other cast members currently present for  _ Locked Heart _ , and his heart felt like it was going to explode.

Along with Jackson, they had cast Park Jinyoung, another top class actor that Youngjae had been following for a while. Jinyoung had been around the industry for nearly four years and had stolen hearts all over the country. He and Jackson had starred together two other times and were pretty good friends, something the media and online fans constantly buzzed over. Youngjae would be lying if he said he hadn’t been one of them. They looked good together, with a charisma that captivated fans and drew attention the moment they entered the room. Jinyoung … didn’t really pay any attention to him. It stung a bit, especially since they were going to be acting together, but he really couldn’t blame Jinyoung. Youngjae had just suddenly been thrust upon everyone after all. They weren’t filming anything together just yet, as Jinyoung’s character was supposed to be friends with Jackson’s. Youngjae was actually quite relieved at this, for at least he could avoid any unfortunate situations for the moment.

After that awkward meeting, the day seemed to rush by. There were a few scenes Jackson had to reshoot due to camera six being unable to capture the correct angles, but Soonchun refused to accept his offer of helping out; he could probably see just how tired Youngjae was.  He was incredibly glad when Soonchun waved him away, signaling his end to filming for the day. Never had he known relief so sweet. Curling up in one of the beanbags they’d offered for breaks, he pulled out his phone and stared at the screen. His autopilot was wearing off, and the urge to talk to someone who could ground him was nearly overwhelming. Selecting the top contact, he got to tapping.

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> jaebummie you’ll never guess what happened today

Jaebum.  
> Did you finally get that strawberry ice cream?

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> no!  
> but this is just as sweet!

Jaebum.  
> Enlighten me.

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> you know how I got hired for that new drama?  
> well my role changed

Jaebum.  
> You broke the camera and they kicked you out.

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> o(╥﹏╥)o so mean jaebummie!  
> I got cast as the main lead ....!

Jaebum.  
> Congratulations. How’d you manage that?

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> that’s the funny part  
> I tripped over some cables right  
> and jackson freaking wang caught me!

Jaebum.  
> How are you still alive?

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> I’m convinced I’m messaging you from beyond the grave

Jaebum.  
> Right. Again, congratulations. We should celebrate sometime.

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> ヾ(〃^∇^)ﾉ yay!  
> lets go do something soon!

Jaebum.  
> We’ll figure it out. I have classwork to do.  
> Talk to you later, Youngjae.

He couldn’t help but smile at his phone. Youngjae had been friends with Jaebum for nearly seven months now. Their initial meeting hadn’t been the greatest, with Youngjae running into the older man and causing his newly-acquired lunch to end up on the floor. After a long apology and a promise to buy him another meal sometime, they settled into an easy friendship. Jaebum was a music major while Youngjae was studying film. It was close enough to give them two classes together but not much, and their friendship grew over Jaebum teasing him about dropping his lunch whenever he saw him. Things between them had gotten quite comfortable and he was grateful for such a supportive friend, even if Jaebum didn’t show it in conventional ways. Youngjae was still fairly new to the area at that point as well, so meeting someone local had been a godsend. Maybe that was why the universe had it out for him now.

“Youngjae! Come here for a moment!” Soonchun’s voice brought him out of his thoughts, and Youngjae shoved his phone into his costume’s jacket. Jackson was standing near him. The nerves came surging back.

“Do you need me for another scene?”

Soonchun chuckled. “No, nothing like that. Jackson suggested a picture to commemorate your first day of filming. You don’t have to of course; it’s just a small tradition around here.”

Jackson waved in greeting. His hair was a bit messy and it wasn’t hard to see how tired he looked. “We figured it’d be a good teaser too, although it won’t get posted for a few days.”

Youngjae swallowed at the sight of him, glanced between the director and the all too happy actor standing just beyond. “Oh! That sounds like a good idea. Where would you like me to stand?”

“By the desk over there. Come on, both of you.” The director motioned for them to hurry. Okay, Jackson really was out to kill him, but Youngjae supposed he had to get used to being in his presence sooner or later. If they were going to film together, he’d have to fight the urge to faint whenever those eyes met his. Which was really hard.

Jackson had already made his way to the desk, leaning against one side of it. Taking a deep breath, Youngjae moved to occupy the space on the other side. He lifted his fingers into a peace sign out of habit. “Perfect! One, two, three … got it!”

“Don’t worry too much, Youngjae. You did great today. You’ll be able to memorize our lines in no time!” Jackson reached out, patting his back gently. “Wait for me by the dressing rooms once we’re done and I’ll give you my number.”

Youngjae worried at his lip for a moment. “I can’t. I have to hurry home so I can get ready for class tonight.”

“Oh! I’ll ask the receptionist for yours then, okay? Make sure you’re here by 6:15!” Before Youngjae could reply, Jackson had already scurried off. He was like a mischievous mouse, and part of him wondered just what he’d gotten himself into. It was only after Jackson was long gone that Youngjae remembered his phone had been in his pocket the whole time. Now he had to wait until Jackson sent  _ him _  a message. Maybe he really was functioning from beyond the grave.

——— ( o ) ———

Youngjae had just stepped out of the bathroom when he heard his text tone from the kitchen. He wrapped his towel around his neck and hurried out to grab it. The screen hadn’t gone dark just yet, displaying a notification from a group chat he was in along with a bright (3) NEW MESSAGES. Youngjae typed his password in record time.

UNKNOWN NUMBER  
> You did great today, Youngjae!  
> Sorry for kinda forcing you into it.  
> This is Jackson btw!

The college student sucked in a breath, trying to formulate a response. He couldn’t use emojis so early on. Jackson seemed much too professional for that. It didn’t stop him from adding a heart to Jackson’s contact name though.

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> don’t worry about it!  
> I think it’ll be a lot of fun

jackson ♥  
> You’re gonna do fine, I’m sure of it.  
> Remember to be here early! ;)

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> I will be!

Youngjae leaned against his tiny refrigerator, clutching his phone like a lifeline. It was only then that the events of the last fifteen or so hours seemed like a reality. He was starring in a drama as the main character, despite never acting a day in his life, along with Jackson and Jinyoung, plus a whole list of other high-end actors. His parents were never going to believe him. Did Jaebum even believe him? That wasn’t important.

A small laugh escaped into the room, and Youngjae turned to fish a popsicle out of the freezer.  _ He could do this _ . He had to.

——— ( o ) ———

Youngjae, despite the protests his body was making, yanked himself out of bed at 5:30. Yanked as in grabbed the bedpost and physically dropped himself on the floor. It was a method he’d used for entrance exams years ago. He wasn’t all that thrilled about resorting to it again, groaning in protest as cold wood met his legs. How did people get up this early? It had to be sorcery.

Moments of silence ticked away before Youngjae managed to untangle himself from the floor. The student felt his way to the lightswitch, squinting when light flooded his tiny room. Not only did he have to get up early, but his favourite coffee place wasn’t even open yet. Were they seriously expecting him to function with no caffeine? There was always a coffee machine in the dressing rooms though. He could just grab one there.

Wait … dressing rooms?

All at once, the events of the previous day came rushing over him. Youngjae suddenly felt more awake than he wanted to admit. Last night had been spent memorizing the second episodes lines, and Youngjae realized he was more like Kim Minjae than he wanted to admit. The character he was playing was a quiet but bright person with a streak of overactive anxiety, always second guessing everything and struggling to understand why such an attractive guy was suddenly paying attention to him. Yeah, Youngjae seen the similarities all too well.

His eyes fell upon the security card thrown carelessly on his desk. That gave him the motivation he needed to start getting ready. It appeared the universe was being kinder to him today as well. He ate a quick breakfast, brushed his teeth, and managed to hail a cab without much fuss. Then again, finding a cab at six in the morning was exponentially easier than morning rush hour. And there was no wind to irritate the chapstick he was wearing.

The building, with its bright SUNSHINE STUDIOS logo illuminating the sidewalk, suddenly looked ten times more intimidating. It was 6:12 though, and Youngjae couldn’t afford to waste any time.

The same receptionist from before was seated behind the counter, sorting through some papers. He clutched the script in his hands tightly. She spotted him almost immediately, flashing a bright smile in his direction. Youngjae returned it immediately. “Welcome, Youngjae! How’d your first day go?”

“Good! I didn’t really expect to become part of the cast though.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Thank you for the script as well.” He squinted at the nametag she was reading, catching the name  _ Kyu _  in bright lettering.

She hummed, turning to tap away at the computer in what he assumed was to sign him in. “Don’t mention it. Jackson is already here if that’s what you’re wondering. Always gets here super early, that one.” Kyu swiveled back towards him, pointing in the opposite direction of their set. “He’s in one of the practice rooms. Take a right instead; it’s the first door.” 

“Thank you.” Youngjae took a deep breath and headed off. Just before he rounded the corner, he heard Kyu call out a  _ good luck! _  That certainly didn’t help calm him down.

The door in question was unmarked, but it was the first door and Youngjae really didn’t wanna look like a fool on his first official day of filming. He knocked twice, waiting in silence. Moments later, the door creaked open, revealing Jackson’s face on the other side. As soon as he seen Youngjae, his entire expression lit up.

“Hey, you made it! I was beginning to worry.” He ended his words with a wink again, and Youngjae found himself really needing that coffee.

Youngjae stepped into the room. It was a lot smaller than the studio, with the far wall completely covered in mirrors and a single couch in the corner diagonal from him. The floor was hardwood and looked recently cleaned, shining under the bright lights. “Getting up so early on such short notice is hard you know!” Jackson laughed, shutting the door behind him. Youngjae took that time to pull off his coat and set both it and the security card on the couch. His heart was racing in his chest despite how much he willed it to be calm. “I read a bit of the script last night but I’m assuming it’s different with other people.”  

“Well of course. You have to practice your lines with other actors to get a full feel of the emotions you’re trying to express.” Jackson walked over, Youngjae watching the mirrors to his left as he did so. He looked good, freshly showered and the literal embodiment of excitement. “How much do you have memorized? We can start from there.”

If he was being honest, his memory wasn’t that great. He could remember the name of every single camera he’d used, how to operate it, and how to disassemble it, but everything else was a struggle. That didn’t mean he _  couldn’t  _ memorize other things, he was just bad at it.

“I, uh, memorized the first three scenes. The ones before the break.”

Jackson nodded, rubbing his hands together. “That’s fine. No one is expecting you to remember them perfectly, Youngjae. We’ve had months and you’ve barely had your role for a day. Don’t sweat it if you mess up.”

_ That’s easy for you to say. _

“Seriously! Now what we’ll do is go over those scenes three or four times, and if we still have time to spare, we’ll start on the next few. Then during our break, we can practice again. Everyone else will be here for that as well.” It was a solid plan. Jackson took a few steps back. “Feel free to reference your script at any point.”

Before he even got a chance to respond, Jackson had slipped into character. His expression looked a bit sour, with his head tilted up in a way that indicated that Youngjae had little to no importance. Despite knowing it was for their practice, he still felt the instinct urge to back away. Youngjae took a deep breath and tried to will himself to fall into Minjae’s quiet persona.

“What are you doing sitting in the hallway? Cafeteria is that way.” Jackson’s voice was cool and level, holding a tone that his  _ Midnight Kiss _  character did.

Youngjae nearly forgot to reply. “Oh, um, I figured it’d be easier to just eat here?” There was no change in Jackson’s expression, and so he went through the stage direction and lowered his head to view a nonexistent book.

“Looks more like you’re reading to me. You’re the transfer student right?”

He raised a hand, scratching at his hair. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

When he looked back up again, Jackson had turned to the side as per his script. “Sitting in the hall is no way to make friends you know.” His entire tone had changed, brightening up in an inviting manner. “Come on, I can walk you to the cafeteria.”

Youngjae was honestly impressed by how fluidly they went after that, practicing the few scenes they could without the other cast members there. The amount of emotion Jackson had displayed on screen had always captivated Youngjae, but he wasn’t prepared for how much better it was in person. Seeing him move, hearing the way his voice shifted, and watching how much passion was put into  _ practicing _  took his breath away. Jackson was definitely suited for the screen. Was he really worthy enough to appear on screen with him? The actor seemed to think so.

It was almost 8:30 by the time they took paused. Youngjae sank back against the couch, trying to catch his breath. They’d managed to get enough time to practice the rest of his scenes, with Jackson acting in place of the guy who befriended Minjae.

“Wow, Youngjae, I had my suspicions but you proved them. You project emotions really well.” Jackson held out a water bottle with a smile.

He accepted it gratefully, quickly taking a swig of the much needed liquid. “You think so?” The praise served in boosting his confidence a bit.

“Yeah! You’re like a natural. Are you sure you’ve never acted before?” Jackson sat next to him, taking a drink out of his own water bottle

Youngjae pressed his lips together before scratching at his neck. It wasn’t entirely true that he’d never acted, but it had never been on screen. How could he tell Jackson that he memorized every single line from the heroines in his dramas and then proceeded to recite them while watching? How embarrassing that would be.

Instead, Youngjae laughed in response. “I’m sure. My dream has always been to be behind the camera, not in front of it.”

“My statement still stands you know. You’re too pretty to be kept behind it.” Jackson nodded along with his comment, crossing his arms.

Youngjae hummed in response. “I’m not being kept behind it. My mom did suggest becoming a singer once, but cameras have always captured my attention ever since I was little.”

“Do you sing?” Jackson’s full attention was back on him, Youngjae unable to look away.

“... I used to. I haven’t sang in a long time.” He opted for taking another drink of water. It wasn’t that hot in the practice room, but Youngjae felt like he was going to catch on fire.

Jackson turned his head away, leaning back a bit as he took another drink as well. “I’d love to hear it sometime, if you don’t mind. I’m sure your voice is beautiful.” Youngjae opened his mouth to respond when Jackson suddenly jumped up. “It’s almost 8:30! We have to head to makeup like, right now!”

Although he’d been prepared to respond, part of him was glad for the distraction. Maybe Jackson would forget about singing.

Youngjae gathered his jacket in his arms and followed after Jackson. The hallways were quiet, but the other actors were more than likely already present. This would be their first time performing together completely and Youngjae was nervous all over again. Meeting Jackson had been an accident, and Jinyoung had barely spared him a glance. He wasn’t all that thrilled about what everyone else had in store for him.

After giving a quick hello to Soonchun, they made their way into the large dressing room. Youngjae had remarked on how white it was the previous day. The ceiling, the walls, and even the floor were white. Not even a good white either; it was an awful eggshell looking colour that really should’ve been illegal. The sight of it did nothing to calm his nerves. But hey, at least the stools were shaped and patterned like a sun. That was cute.

There were two people already getting their makeup applied. Youngjae recognized one of them as Mark Tuan, a older actor who had been in the industry for as long as Jinyoung. His blonde hair was pulled back from his eyes while his makeup artist shifted around him. If Youngjae remembered correctly, he was supposed to be playing Minjae’s friend, Hyunwoo. Although he’d only performed in a drama with Jackson once, a smaller one, Youngjae had been a fan of him for even longer than Jackson. It was kind of impossible not to like him honestly.

“Hey Mark! This is Youngjae. He was cast for Minjae’s part. Youngjae, this is Mark Tuan,” Jackson said, sweeping his arm in the other actor’s direction.

The blonde turned to look at them. Youngjae’s first impression of Mark in person was how pretty his eyes were. They were much different than on screen, cool and calculating and a deep shade of brown. His jaw had a nice look to it, accentuating his features nicely. Youngjae silently cursed his gay heart.

“Ah, Soonchun mentioned it. You look like you can handle it.” Mark’s lips twitched, and Youngjae took that to mean he smiled. If he remembered correctly, Mark didn’t usually talk much with strangers.

Youngjae bowed his head a bit, if only to get those brown eyes off of him. “Thank you! I look forward to working with you!”

Mark offered no response back, simply focusing his attention back on the mirror before him. Jackson patted his back before leading him over to the other soul settled preciously in his seat. Their legs didn’t quite fit in the little alcove, ankles crossed in what looked like an extremely uncomfortable position. His hair was short, barely reaching the middle of his ears, and coloured a shade of red so dark it mirrored blood. Youngjae didn’t recognize him. Was he a new actor?

“Hey there, Yugyeom! It looks like you won’t be alone for your first drama.” Jackson’s voice drew Yugyeom’s attention immediately, head flicking over with the brightest smile Youngjae had probably ever seen. There was a positive energy radiating from the soul sitting before him and it was … kind of soothing. A bit of relief flooded through him as the prospect of being joined as a new actor, even if Yugyeom had gone through countless hours of training and practice. Part of him wondered how Jackson knew him though if this was his first drama.

“It’s nice to meet you, Yugyeom.” Youngjae, once again, scratched at his head. Soon he wouldn’t be able to so why not enjoy it now.

Yugyeom untangled his legs and rose, towering over both Youngjae and Jackson. Well, towering wasn’t really the right word, but he was fucking  _ tall _ . And most of that ratio was leg, thin and wrapped in black dress pants. “You’re Youngjae right? Jackson wasn’t lying, you really are a cutie! Staying behind the camera would’ve been a crime!”

“Right!? I told you!” Jackson and Yugyeom had grasped each other’s hands, shaking them a bit as they stared at him. “He fits Minjae perfectly!”

Yugyeom let go, placing splayed fingers over his chest in mock anguish. “I wish I could be Jaesun. He gets to kiss Minjae, and Minjae is absolutely gorgeous! Never fear, Minjae, your childhood friend will swoop in and save you!”

Youngjae stopped listening, eyes wide. They were focused on Jackson and Yugyeom, who were running around being loud, but he wasn’t quite seeing them. Had he heard that right?  _ A kiss?  _ Jackson was going to have to kiss him at some point?

“Did you say kiss?” He pretended his voice wasn’t a squeak.

Jackson let go of Yugyeom’s hand, looking to him with unreadable eyes. Which shouldn’t be right, because Jackson was an open book. “Yeah! You’ve read the script right? Hopefully it doesn’t bother you.”

Before Youngjae could formulate a proper response, his makeup artist from the previous day ushered him away. It was a relief, honestly, because he wasn’t sure he could stand anymore. Kissing Jackson wasn’t the problem. It was  _ kissing Jackson _  that was the problem. How could he possibly survive that? Jackson, who had read the script, must’ve known. As that realization dawned on him, Youngjae whipped his head around to look for the actor. He earned an annoyed gasp from his makeup artist as eyeliner dragged along his face and sheepishly apologized.

As he watched his transformation happen in the mirror before him, Youngjae found himself wondering  _ what would Minjae do? _  Perish, probably.

The score was now one for the universe, and zero for Youngjae.

——— ( o ) ———

The week was filled with chaos. Youngjae’s schedule had been completely turned on its head, and he was struggling a bit to adhere to the sudden strictness. Getting up at 5:30 in the morning was no easy feat and honestly, he hated it. He would arrive at 6:15, practice with an always bright-eyed Jackson until 8:25, get thrust into makeup until 8:50, and then have to spend the rest of the day fighting through his lines and positioning on set. To make matters worse, he still had to attend class in the evening. Racing from set at 6:30 at night to make it to a class that started at seven, twenty minutes away by cab, was rough to say the least.

Youngjae didn’t even get home until eleven, nevermind the extra work that had to go into certain projects. He was sure he was going to die from how much activity his life had suddenly fallen into. Jaebum informed him that no, you could not communicate from beyond the grave, and Youngjae could only bury his head in a textbook and whine.

By the time Friday rolled around, Youngjae’s legs felt like jelly and he was absolutely exhausted. Classwork had piled up from days of ignoring it and part of him wondered how he was going to be able to continue like this. Acting was hard, getting up early was hard, and suddenly being regarded as an equal in the eyes of your favourite idol was more than Youngjae could handle. Not to mention he would, eventually, have to kiss said idol. He was grateful that Friday also meant no classes.

Youngjae curled up on his couch, the cheap piece of furniture groaning in protest. Despite how tired he felt, it was frozen yogurt night and he had no intentions of missing it. Jaebum would be on his way over soon and although he had a mountain of homework to do, Youngjae really just wanted to enjoy the momentary break. He flicked through channel after channel, trying to find something worth while. After several minutes of this he groaned, letting his head fall back. It wasn’t until he heard Jackson’s voice that his attention was recaptured.

_ Midnight Kiss _  was playing and Youngjae’s focus had been firmly grasped. He’d watched the drama countless times but it never failed to suck him in time and again. It was the first drama, a cliche romance between a vampire and human, that Jackson had gotten the main love interest role in. The channel must’ve been running it all day as it was already on the last episode. Jackson’s character appeared on screen, along with the actress. They were sitting upon a ledge overlooking a beautiful lake, the moon bright above them; it was the confession scene.

Jackson shifted his hand over hers, his eyes dark red and accentuated by the eyeliner he was wearing. “There is no one else I’d rather share this sight with. The lake, the forest, the moon … you outshine all of it.” The sound of his voice, low and sincere, made his heart flutter. He shifted on screen, pulling the woman into an embrace. She whispered something in response, but Youngjae was too busy staring at the way Jackson’s lips pressed kisses into her neck. The same lips that would soon be on his, and Youngjae groaned loudly. It was no secret that Jackson was a good actor, and  _ Midnight Kiss _  had brought him the spotlight he deserved from countless new fans.

A knock at his door broke him from his trance, Youngjae tearing his eyes away from the screen. He quickly turned the television off and jumped up from the couch, tossing the remote carelessly upon it. It opened before he could reach it and Jaebum stepped inside. The tall man was wearing a long coat that reach his knees, the grey fabric looking incredibly good on him. His face looked stern but beautiful, with a tiredness that pulled at the corners and a smile that lingered even when not shown.

Youngjae instantly felt rejuvenated. “Jaebummie you have no idea how happy I am to see you! Acting is so hard!”

Jaebum didn’t bother trying to remove his coat. They wouldn’t be staying there very long anyway. “You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“You just saw me yesterday.” Youngjae shoved his phone into his pocket and snatched his jacket from the hook near the door.

“And did you sleep last night?”

“Of course I did! I can’t function on no sleep. I also know that there’s no frozen yogurt in my hands and I am deeply offended by this problem.” Youngjae jingled his keys at the audacity.

Jaebum laughed, reaching for the door handle again. “Alright, alright. Shut off your kitchen light and lets go.” Youngjae did so without any protest, ushering Jaebum into the hallway so he could lock the door behind him.

He settled into a comfortable pace, kinda grateful that he lived on the first floor. “What about you? Did you sleep well?”

“I did. Unlike you, I don’t have to get up at 5:30 in the morning.” Jaebum held the door to outside open, revealing the sleek motorcycle that was practically his child. The chrome reflected the evening sunlight a bit too sharply. Youngjae would never admit it out loud, but the bike was honestly too cool of a ride for Jaebum. Incredibly sexy, but also dangerous.

Having gone through the process countless times, Youngjae spared barely a second. The helmet was slipped on without much fuss and Jaebum mirrored his movements. “At least one of us is lucky. This schedule is going to kill me, and we have two months of filming to go through! How to actors survive this?” Jaebum slid into the seat, steadying his bike so Youngjae could climb on as well. He wrapped thin arms around his waist and clung to his back.

“Well, they have had more practice than you.” The older man didn’t give him a chance to answer, instead turning the key and revving the bike to life. No matter how many times he road it, he would probably never get used to the sound. Youngjae buried his face in Jaebum’s back as he kicked off the ground, the bike jolting as they headed off.

He was, needless to say, incredibly frazzled by the time they arrived at their usual location. It was a small shop with bright colours and an almost blinding sign. Youngjae was grateful when he could finally pull himself from Jaebum’s body. He was clinging a bit too much but he knew Jaebum didn’t mind. Riding his bike was always a pretty stressful experience and although he tried really hard to get used to it, Youngjae just couldn’t. The helmet was shoved back into the bag on the side.

Inside was cold, with a few people seated at the various booths and tables held within. They received a wave from the current worker and Youngjae politely returned it; almost all of the employees knew them at this point. He was, however, still deeply offended by the lack of frozen yogurt in his hands. Youngjae wasted no time in heading for his favourite - strawberry of course - while Jaebum trailed behind him. His chosen mess of a treat consisted of strawberry yogurt, a few gummy worms, some whipped cream, and a cherry. How he was still alive was anyone’s guess. Luckily Jaebum had more sense, with simple chocolate yogurt and a few pieces of cookie dough. Once they paid, they settled into their usual spot; a table in the back corner.

“You always get the same thing. That’s so boring!” Youngjae sank into his seat, scooping a large bit of strawberry and one whole gummy worm onto his spoon.

“You’re one to talk.” Jaebum pointed at the offending dessert with his own spoon. His expression was one of mock disgust. “Your strawberry party or whatever you call it is a mess.”

Youngjae ate the first bite with a hum. “A tasty mess. Much more flavor than chocolate.”

“Chocolate is a pinnacle of refined tastes. Just because you don’t have them, doesn’t mean I don’t.” A satisfied look came across Jaebum’s face as he took a bite of his yogurt.

“My tastes are more than refined,” he mumbled, mouth still struggling with a gummy worm. “Only the best of the best can handle gummy worms like these!”

Jaebum laughed, raising another spoonful. “You mean the ones from the kid’s section?”

“So mean, Jaebummie. How will I go on?” Youngjae’s lips twisted into a mock pout.

That spoon was waggled in his direction again, Jaebum struggling with a piece of cookie dough. “That’s a good question considering your current job. Speaking of, how is filming? Are you eating properly?”

The question hung between them, heavy as their yogurt fought to melt before it could be consumed. Youngjae deliberately ate another scoop before he answered. “Yeah! Rushing from set to class makes it hard for lunch, but I’m eating dinner. Honest.” This didn’t seem to satisfy Jaebum but it was enough of an answer that he let it slide. “And yes, filming with Jackson is messing with my  _ poor fanboy _  heart! Since I know you’re dying to ask. Can’t give any spoilers though.”

Youngjae did, however, pull his phone from his pocket. Jackson had sent him the teaser picture taken from their first day and it  _ technically _  wasn’t a spoiler since it was scheduled to be posted tomorrow, so where was the harm? He held up his phone for Jaebum to see. “I look so out of place next to him, but I guess that’s the vibe Minjae is supposed to have. I really have no idea how I’ve survived.”  _ He’s like the sun. _

Jaebum made an appreciative noise. “You two look good together. You’re more attractive than you give yourself credit for.” Before Youngjae could respond, and it was probably better considering his mouth was just hanging open, his phone vibrated. “Oh, you have his number too? Looks like he wants to meet up.” The grin on Jaebum’s face made his blood run cold, yanking the phone back to his face.

Sure enough, cute heart emoji and all, Jackson had sent him a message. What bad timing! Jaebum would never let him live this down.

jackson ♥  
> Hey Youngjae! Are you resting right now? I’m at the mall near the studio and wanted to see if you’d go shopping with me and Jinyoung!

Such a long formal text. He looked between his phone and the man trying his best not to laugh around chocolate yogurt. His own sweet was tragically forgotten. “He’s at the mall near my apartment and wants to meet up. What do I say?”

“Well don’t look to me for advice.” Youngjae grimaced. Of course he wasn’t going to be helpful. The teasing he was going to get … Ugh.

youngjae! ≧◡≦  
> um well i’m kind of out with a friend right now

jackson ♥  
> They can come too! The more the merrier right?  
> Jinyoung said you have to!

He really shouldn’t have underestimated how insistent Jackson would be. And why the hell would Jinyoung of all people want him there? Youngjae let his forehead fall against the table, groaning. In his momentary lapse of care, Jaebum plucked his phone from his fingers. “What are you doing? Hey!”

“You think I’m letting you get out of this? Plus it’s fun watching you get all red in the face.”

“But it’s dessert night!” He reached for the phone, trying to safely steal it back. Jaebum leaned back just out of reach and continued his tapping at the screen. Youngjae felt like he was going to explode.

“Dessert night over your favourite actor of all time? Come now, Youngjae.” After a few seconds, Jaebum nodded to himself; he looked a little too satisfied. The older man slid his phone back across the table. “There! We’ll meet them in twenty minutes.” At least he’d had the decency to state who he was rather than pretend to be Youngjae.

“What have I done to deserve this treatment?”

“You put a heart by Jackson Wang’s contact name. I think that’s pretty telling.”

He plucked a gummy worm from his strawberry mess, letting his cheek press against the table. So not only was the universe against him, but now Jaebum too.

——— ( o ) ———

When Jackson mentioned the mall, Youngjae had been picturing the tiny shopping district located near his apartment. It was a location full of food vendors, a few clothing stores, and an electronics shop. Small and charming and easy to navigate. He was not expecting the bigger three story building a mere block from Sunshine Studios. The building that was, and had been since his first time going in, a maze. Despite this being mostly Jaebum’s doing he was far from excited about it upon arrival.

“Is it too late to dip yet?” Jaebum’s lips were twisted into a weird grimace.

Youngjae yanked the door open with a bit more force than he meant to. His nerves were running rampant and in all honesty he was really just searching for something to ground him. “You’re the one who got us into this mess! You don’t get to leave!” The older man slipped into the mall with a groan. He was never that great at thinking things through, always going with the heat of the moment. Youngjae knew this well.

“We’re a couple of poor college students heading into a fancy designer store. What a sight we’ll be.”

A soft  _ hmph _  escaped Youngjae’s throat, leading the way to the store Jaebum was referring to. His arms raised into a shrug. “And if you would’ve just handed me my phone back, we’d still be enjoying frozen yogurt and gummy worms.”

“Well someone had to give you a push.”

Youngjae opted not to answer, turning his attention back to navigating the maze around them. The store they were looking for was a bigger department on the top floor. Like Jaebum said, it was a fancier place on the higher end of price and certainly wasn’t a store two college students could afford to shop at. He wished Jackson would’ve agreed to meet them in the food court like, you know, a normal person, but Youngjae understood why. When you were famous, you couldn’t really prance around and expect to be left alone.

The sound of the elevator dinging brought him from his thoughts. Luck was on their side, the opening doors revealing a large store that read Fleur Boutique in fancy lettering. It was a sleek looking store with a red and black colour scheme. Youngjae trailed after Jaebum as they made their way towards it, eyeing the bodyguards standing just outside the door. More than likely they were posted to keep an eye out for obnoxious fans. He glanced at them as they walked past, feeling more than a little intimidated.

It took only a few seconds for Jackson to spot him. “Youngjae! Over here!” His eyes sought out the source of the voice, falling upon the actor waving his arm above his head. Jinyoung was standing next to him, hands slotted in his pockets and expression unreadable.

Jaebum leaned over a bit as they went to join them. “You didn’t tell me he had a hot friend.”

Youngjae scoffed, staring at his friend in disbelief. “Don’t you know who Park Jinyoung is? That  _ hot friend _  will kick your ass.”

The taller man shrugged and he pretended to miss the smirk that appeared on those lips. “Seems like a challenge to me.”

Jackson was holding a basket on one arm, filled with a few various shirts and pairs of pants. Jinyoung had a single jacket draped on his arm. They broke their quiet conversation and fixed their attention upon the two of them. Before Youngjae could say a greeting, Jinyoung began speaking. “What’s this about a hot friend?”

Jaebum tipped his head back a bit and laughed. “You heard that?”

“Of course he heard that!” Jackson said with a chuckle. “Jinyoung’s got super hearing.”

“Not knowing who I am? Considering you’re friends with Youngjae, I’m actually impressed.” The actor held out his hand and Jaebum took it, giving it a firm shake. They started chatting immediately, falling into casual conversation that almost seemed like the pair had been friends long before that moment.

Youngjae couldn’t help but pout. Why did he get the cold shoulder? Jackson seemed to sense this distress and leaned towards him, the back of his hand covering his mouth. “Jinyoung is kinda weary around new people. I’m actually surprised he’s talking to your friend so easily.” He swallowed at how close Jackson was to him before he was being tugged away. A small  _ good luck! _  accompanied him from Jaebum and his nerves surged forward again. Once they were out of earshot, Jackson turned to him. “Don’t take it personally. He’s awkward around new people, and you’re still pretty new.”

He stared down at him for a moment. Jackson looked incredibly handsome standing there, black hair a bit ruffled and teeth poking through his smile. Youngjae’s heart raced in his chest and he cleared his throat, turning to look at the clothing rack next to them.  _ God _  he felt so awkward and out of place. “I was worried he didn’t like me.”

Jackson patted at his shoulder. “Nah, he just isn’t sure how to act around you yet. Jinyoung is like a soccer mom. A really bad soccer mom.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that, the image of Jinyoung running with bags of food and water coming to mind. “I don’t think Jinyoung would appreciate that comparison.” Youngjae’s hands sorted through the clothes in front of him. They were sweaters, made from an incredibly soft black material.

“He definitely wouldn’t,” Jackson said, words accompanied with a laugh. “Sorry for messing up your dessert night. You really could’ve said no.” It was genuine.

Youngjae groaned, remembering Jaebum snatching his phone. He pulled one of the sweaters off the rack and grimaced at the price. “Jaebum wouldn’t let me. Besides,” and his eyes trailed to Jinyoung and Jaebum chatting, “I think he’s pretty glad he came too.”

A moment of awkward silence passed before Youngjae moved to put the sweater back. He liked it, but the garment was way too expensive for him to even consider. Jackson caught it beforehand and his eyes widened, looking to the actor. “You like that sweater, yeah? I’ll buy it for you! As a gift for your first week of successful filming. And also agreeing to it in the first place.”

Youngjae waved his hand. “No, no, this thing is so expensive. It’s fine.” He didn’t stop Jackson from taking the sweater from his hand, however. The student scratched the back of his neck out of habit.

“I insist,” Jackson said, ending his words with a nod. When he wanted to do something, he was incredibly insistent. Youngjae could tell that was going to be the death of him.

It felt kind of wrong, standing there with such a beautiful man while he considered himself still “normal.” He wasn’t though, not anymore, and as soon as the teaser image was up Youngjae knew his life would get a bit tougher for day to day activities. Right now though … he liked this. They weren’t friends yet but something about Jackson projected that aura. Like they’d known each other for years. From the way he acted with Youngjae and the staff, all the way to Kyu and the janitors, Youngjae could tell he saw the good in everyone. He liked it.

“You wanna come with me while I try these on? I’d love your opinion.” Jackson raised the basket and Youngjae eyed it for a moment. “Then we can get dinner.”

He nodded in agreement. “Sure. I don’t know fashion that well though so don’t expect a miracle.”

The actor just waved his hand in response, the two of them settling into comfortable silence as they reached the dressing rooms. Youngjae leaned against the wall and searched the store for Jaebum. He was nowhere to be found and part of him wondered if he was still alive. Jinyoung was much more intimidating in person and with the personality Jaebum had, he was certain the older actor would grow weary quickly. Not that Jaebum was exhausting but, well, he was exhausting. Especially when left unsupervised … Youngjae cringed at the thought of his shitty pick up lines. Just as he was about to text for a life check, Jackson stepped out of the dressing room, catching his attention.

He was wearing a pair of black jeans paired with a dark grey turtleneck. On top of that was a long black jacket reaching his knees. It looked more like an outfit from a movie set than for everyday wear, and Youngjae could only stare as Jackson walked over. “So? What do you think? Looks good?” Turtlenecks weren’t usually Youngjae’s style, but the grey clothing complimented Jackson well. It was a bit on the looser side around the neck area but not too much, giving just enough of a glance at skin but staying rigid enough to remain upright.

_ It looked fucking incredible. _

“It reminds me of your  _ Midnight Kiss _  outfit. I uh, really like it.” An understatement, but what else could he say while trying his hardest to contain his excitement?

Jackson clapped his hands together, smiling. It was bright and burning. “That outfit was such a hassle to get on. This was much, much easier.” The actor nodded to himself with a satisfied look on his face, turning back to the dressing rooms.

Time seemed to pass way too quickly after that. Jackson still insisted on buying the sweater despite Youngjae’s protests. He tried it on first, just to make sure it fit and looked good. Part of him thought he saw something flash through Jackson’s eyes but it was gone before he could put his finger on it, and soon Youngjae wondered if he’d imagined it.

After collecting Jinyoung and Jaebum, they exited the store. Youngjae was a bit surprised to see how comfortable the two looked with each other. And Jaebum was still alive. He eyed them wearily, making a note to ask about it later. Jinyoung even flashed a smile at Youngjae and he was so caught off guard by it that he tripped over one of the bodyguard’s feet.

Dinner was at a vibrant restaurant full of fancy food and prices that made Youngjae and Jaebum question going there. Jackson insisted on paying the moment he seen their faces, and dinner settled into a comfortable atmosphere. It was intimidating, especially with the looks and whispers being sent their way by other patrons. Youngjae powered through that though, and soon even he and Jinyoung were conversing naturally. Jaebum seemed to get along well with Jackson too, despite his fears about their personalities clashing, and it was one of the most fun nights he’d had all week.

Watching Jackson smile, seeing how he was with everyone around him, pulled at Youngjae’s heart. As soon as the actor caught him staring, he averted his gaze, picking at his food as the three of them laughed at some joke that flew over his head.

For the moment, Youngjae felt content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on including bambam in the next chapter!  
> sorry for any mistakes here aaa ;;  
> I'm also not sure if youngjae and jaebum like strawberry / chocolate so it's mostly just my hc,,
> 
> I originally planned to skip the first week and jump straight to the store scene but I felt like that was unfair / didn't flow right, so this took me a bit longer to write and got a lot longer than I was thinking for a chapter! next one should be out soon!!


	3. of headaches and grilled cheeses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae forgets how to properly human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so so sorry this took so long! i didn't wanna burn out my writing motivation for this fic so quickly so i took a small break  
> this update is small compared to chapter two so i apologize! this is the second shortest chapter and the rest should be pretty long!   
> this chapter is specifically for filler / progressing the plot so i apologize ;;
> 
> thanks for reading!!

Someone snapped a picture of them during their shopping date, the internet exploding with buzz over just who he was hours before Sunshine posted their teaser. Youngjae’s face was suddenly plastered all over the world, on websites he didn’t even know existed, and he became moderately popular practically overnight. His fellow classmates, even ones who really hadn’t paid him any attention, were suddenly envious and demanded to know details. Although Jaebum, who was also dealing with some new popularity for simply being there, insisted it would be fine … he couldn’t help but feel lost.

Life had suddenly become much harder. Youngjae wasn’t so sure he was ready to live the life of a celebrity.

——— ( o ) ———

His eyes were burning. It was different from studying, where he spent hours toiling away on his laptop to complete a project, fingers aching in protest and mind numb at the information it was forced to soak in. This was a different kind of burning, something that pooled just behind his eyelids and refused to go away no matter how long he kept them squeezed shut.

The schedule he was forcing himself to adhere to was taking its toll on him. Where his fellow actors had trained and practiced for months, Youngjae was a beginner with minimal to no stamina for acting. Having to do schoolwork on top of learning lines and practicing scenes with Jackson along with the sudden influx of variety shows was tough. Youngjae worked through it, however, and donned a smile meant to deflect any questions about his well being. Smiling was something he was good at. That didn’t stop just how overwhelmingly tired he felt though.

Today’s scene was on the tougher side. Youngjae was supposed to be running from the school bullies, dodging around bushes and climbing a fence to get away. They’d tried it once already today and he’d slipped on some of the leaves, landing in the bushes and causing the leader of the bullies, a young Thai actor named Bambam, to burst out laughing. Everyone had joined in, with Youngjae covering his face at the embarrassment from the whole ordeal. Bambam had patted his back and assured him it was fine, the boy incredibly friendly and a bright smile to rival Youngjae’s own.

“Alright, take two! Don’t run too fast, and watch out for the leaves,” Soonchun shouted. He leaned back in his chair.

Youngjae’s palms felt sweaty but he nodded in response, standing by the edge of the building. He glanced over his shoulder and spotted Bambam. Taking a small breath, he widened his eyes to appear surprised at Bambam’s presence. After two loud steps, he paused to look over his shoulder again. Bambam was smiling and took another three steps towards him.

“Miiinjae, why are you walking so fast? We just wanna talk to you!” Bambam’s voice was perfectly suited for his character, Woosuk. Not too high, but not too low, with a sing-song quality that made it stand out.

He didn’t answer. Bambam went through the motion of trying to grab him and Youngjae stumbled back, the bush next to him scraping at his legs. The other actor made another attempt to grab him and Youngjae ducked under his hands, taking two steps before breaking into a run.

His first mistake that day was ignoring just how bad the burning sensation grew. His second was overestimating just how much pressure his body could take. And his third was forgetting to drink anything since dinner the previous day.

Youngjae took those two steps before the world became wobbly, and he felt like everything fell into slow motion. The ground pressed against his back in an uncomfortable manner, his head hitting the sidewalk with a crack loud enough to resonate throughout their studio. Everything faded into darkness.

——— ( o ) ———

His consciousness trickled back in the form of a splitting headache. Youngjae didn’t even bother trying to open his eyes, for he knew a migraine from years of constant study. Luckily his momentary status as awake only lasted a few seconds and he welcomed the cool pull of sleep once more.

The second attempt to wake up was much more bearable. A dull ache had settled into the back of his head, and Youngjae had a feeling it was more due to his fall than a migraine. It would more than likely stick around for a bit. His ears registered the steady beeping of a heart monitor first. Shifting his head a bit confirmed that no, he wasn’t at the studio, and had in fact been transported to the hospital. Great. Youngjae opened his eyes to a dark room. 

A soft snore grabbed his attention and Youngjae’s eyes immediately sought out the offending noise. Jaebum was leaning back in a chair, arms crossed and face slack as he slept. He looked away, taking in the room he was currently situated in, and sighed softly. Hospitals had been top on his list of least favorite places ever since he was young. They smelled of cleaner, death, and contained too many unpleasant memories. 

“Jaebum.” The single call of his name was enough to bring Jaebum from his slumber. He must have just fallen asleep, or perhaps he wasn’t even sleeping at all. Youngjae didn’t know but the regret settled deeply in his chest. Jaebum blinked once before he realized who had spoken to him and let out a relieved sigh.

“Damn, Youngjae, you really gave me a scare.” The other man used the armrest to pull himself upright. “I have to go get the doctor, alright? Don’t try to get up.”

Youngjae groaned. Doctors were second on his dislike list. “But I really need to pee.”

“You can pee later.” Jaebum didn’t laugh. Youngjae deflated a bit at his unusual seriousness, but he supposed it was warranted. He’d pushed himself too much. Now was not a time for joking. His eyes followed Jaebum until he was gone before he folded his hands in his lap, biting his lip. Had he messed everything up? What would Jackson think? Would Soonchun even let him return to set, or would they have to replace him again? Youngjae’s mind was racing with so many questions that he was actually grateful when the doctor, trailed by both a nurse and Jaebum, entered the room. Although he answered their questions and tried his hardest to pay attention, he couldn’t stop all of the thoughts racing through his mind. 

By the time they left the room again, Youngjae felt exhausted. Jaebum could probably tell just how dejected he was feeling. The man sat on the edge of his hospital bed with a sigh. “No one’s angry at you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Well, except maybe me, but that’s to be expected don’t you think?”

“... Yeah, I guess so.” He grabbed the water bottle left behind for him. Youngjae purposely didn’t look at Jaebum as he took a drink.

“You sure you can keep up with this?” Jaebum’s words hung between them like a heavy weight against his ribs. 

For a moment, he simply stared into the half-drank bottle of water. His fingers looked distorted and displayed. It mirrored how Youngjae was feeling. “It isn’t a matter of if I can, it’s that I _ have to _ .”

“I’m not going to have that discussion with you right now, Youngjae. Once you eat something, you’ll be discharged and I’ll take you home, okay?” Youngjae didn’t answer, but he understood. 

He found out he had overworked himself; it wasn’t a surprise really. Combined with dehydration and lack of proper meals, Youngjae had set himself up for failure. Soonchun was, of course, far from angry at him. He was ordered to rest for three or four days and although it was suggested by the director, he couldn’t help feeling useless. Youngjae didn’t have a concussion luckily but there was a nasty bruise on the back of his head and enough headaches to last him a lifetime.

——— ( o ) ———

Jaebum had borrowed his parents’ car that night. He was unusually quiet on their drive back to his apartment. Youngjae rambled away in an attempt to raise the mood but was met with silence. Although the drive was short, it felt like the time between them was infinite. Other than a goodbye at Youngjae’s door, Jaebum didn’t say another word. He couldn’t help the hurt look at the other man’s retreating back. If there was one thing Youngjae hated the most, it was the silent treatment. Especially when he was a pretty loud, bright personality. 

The first day back home was spent sleeping. His body was utterly exhausted and although he’d been essentially unconscious, it felt like he’d barely slept. Youngjae buried himself in two blankets and practically burrowed his head into flimsy pillows. Curled into a ball with his ears hugging said pillows, he almost didn’t hear his phone start ringing. The student groaned as he untangled himself from blankets and smacked his hand upon the sheets in a lazy search for the offending device. Youngjae answered without seeing who it was, because the only person who ever called him was Jaebum.

“Jaebum, do you know what time it is?” He yawned, forcing himself upright. A scratch at his head made him remember the bruise and he winced at the sudden shooting pain.

A laugh came through the other end. “ _ Hey Youngjae, this is Jackson! And it’s almost eight. _ ” 

Youngjae froze, hand hovering next to his cheek. “J-jackson?”

“ _ Yeah! You weren’t answering my texts so I called instead. _ ” He could picture the smile on Jackson’s face. “ _ Plus I figured you didn’t really feel like looking at a bright phone screen today. _ ”

“Well um … I was actually resting.” Youngjae pulled his blankets around his shoulders. His phone was grasped tightly as a means of grounding himself.

“ _ Oh! I just wanted to say I’m sorry for not being able to visit you earlier. Heard it was a pretty hard fall. _ ” Jackson paused, but not long enough for Youngjae to think of what to say. “ _ Say, you mind if I come visit? Soonchun asked me to drop off the script for the next episode. _ ”

It felt like his heart dropped to the floor.  _ How many times had that happened this week? Too many. _ Seeing Jackson on set was one thing but having the actor in his home? “But what if fans see you?” He blurted the words out before he could really think.

Jackson laughed, the sound close to Youngjae’s ear. A shiver went down his spine. “ _ Don’t worry about it! They already know you collapsed; someone got pictures of you being wheeled to the ambulance. _ ” Oh that was nice. Youngjae cringed at the thought of those being circulated around the internet. “ _ Sunshine released a statement though so you don’t have to worry. Besides, I can be discreet! I’m a pro remember? _ ” 

_ What would Minjae do? _ Minjae would barely be in Jaesun’s radar actually. Still … his heart did a flip. “I … okay. I can text you my address once we hang up.”

“ _ Sweet! _ ” Was that a sigh he heard? “ _ I’ll be over in a bit then. See you soon, Youngjae! _ ”

“Y-yeah. See you soon!” As the call went dead, Youngjae forced himself to take a few deep breaths. Jackson was coming over to his apartment. Even though it was only to drop off a script, he couldn’t help but feel excitement and nerves building within him. His blankets were thrown off his body and he jumped to his feet. He had to clean up a bit beforehand. 

Youngjae had just enough sense to remember to text Jackson his address, before he yanked on a pair of cloud-printed pajama pants and hurried into his living room to clean.

——— ( o ) ———

He was so caught up in cleaning that he nearly missed the knock on the door. Youngjae rose from where he was  _ very carefully _ hiding all of the dramas containing Jackson. You know, just in case. Every step towards the door felt like a lifetime and his stomach was churning with anxiety. Didn’t help that life had also thrown him a headache upon waking. Honestly though, who wouldn’t be an anxious mess when someone like Jackson was coming to their door? It was like every fantasy ever … not that Youngjae had those or anything. Of course not.

As he turned the door handle, he took another deep breath and channeled whatever calm Minjae had to offer. Which wasn’t much because of course they were both panicked gay. The breath he’d had enough sense to take was immediately expelled. 

Jackson had a mask covering his face, but it was tugged down the moment he opened the door. He had dressed simply, for him at least, wearing a black shirt with a soft black leather jacket overtop. There was a silver chain hanging around his neck and everything was topped off with a black hat. Jackson smiled and raised a hand in a friendly wave. A bag was dangling from his hand and as soon as Youngjae’s eyes settled on it, it was raised. “I brought soup.” Something flickered through those eyes. “Hey, you’re wearing the sweater I bought you!”

Youngjae looked down. Oh damn, he was. He’d completely forgotten. The man stepped back a bit to allow Jackson into the apartment. “Well it is pretty comfortable.” The bag containing said soup was accepted and he turned to head to his tiny kitchen, which of course wasn’t far from the door at all; he set it on the counter.

Jackson shut the door behind him before pulling both mask and hat off. “I knew it would look good on you.” Youngjae pretended he couldn’t see the way his eyes roamed around his apartment. His space was probably nothing more than a tiny closet to the actor but Youngjae could only see admiration on his face. He wasn’t sure why that seemed to calm him down. The soup was left on the counter and he opted for leaning against it. “Your apartment is so cute. It suits you!”

Youngjae tilted his head in confusion. “What does that even mean?”

“Cute, with a lot of charm! Is it just you?” As Jackson spoke, he pulled a backpack from his shoulder that had gone unnoticed until then. He dug around in it. 

His face felt hot and he opened the door to his refrigerator to hide it. The compliment was pretty simple and, well, a little strange, but it was from Jackson and Youngjae really shouldn’t be letting that get to him so much. “Yeah, just me. Are you thirsty?”

“So you got hurt and no one’s here to take care of you? That seems really unsafe. I seriously thought Jaebum was your roommate too.” A small shuffle sounded from the other side of the door and he glanced up, catching Jackson peeking over the top. “Just water is fine.” 

Youngjae stared at him in silence for a few seconds longer than he should’ve. Clearing his throat, he hurried to grab a water bottle from the barren recesses of his fridge and held it out. Inner Youngjae was dying. It didn’t help that the exact scenario they were in matched a smaller scene in Jackson’s drama  _ Azure Dreams _ . All that was missing was a kiss. His face grew hotter but if Jackson seen it, he didn’t say anything. “Jaebum lives with his parents. Mine live pretty far away.” He played it off by scratching the back of his head, hoping that there were no questions to follow. “Besides, it was just me passing out. Hardly anything to be worried over.”

Jackson took a drink before he answered. Youngjae took that time to pull the soup from the bag and make a reach for the cupboard but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. There was a serious look in the actor’s eyes. “Fainting like that is a very big deal. You hit the ground head first. If you had fallen forward instead, things would’ve been much worse.” He sighed, pulling his hand back. “There’s no shame in it, Youngjae. I’ve been there too.”

And Youngjae knew that. After following Jackson so closely for years, he knew the struggles the actor had gone through, but to compare those to his own seemed wrong. He could count four different times Jackson had been caught being transported to the hospital. Who knew how many more were tacked onto that. Thinking that way … it really hit him then. The rest of  _ Locked Heart’s _ cast were professionals, but they too had started like him. New, inexperienced, and eager. If that was what Jackson was trying to convey, Youngjae got it loud and clear.

“I … okay. Sorry.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. Youngjae wasn’t normally a quiet person but no other words would come out of him.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Jackson opened his fridge. “Now then. Let me make you something to go with your soup, yeah?”

“You’re gonna cook? Didn’t you almost burn down the studio in that one live you did?” Jackson gasped mockingly, trying to sound offended. He pressed a hand to his chest but didn’t look away from the emptiness of his fridge. As soon as he realized there was nothing to be made within it, he opted for digging through Youngjae’s cupboards instead; he didn’t do anything to stop him.

“Listen, that was one time and it was the studio’s fault for putting the napkins close enough for me to bump them.”

“Mhmm, sure. I’m not sure I trust you in my kitchen,” he teased, ending his words on a laugh.

Jackson turned his head to look at him for a moment. Something flashed across his face, so quick that Youngjae almost missed it.  _ Almost. _ Then he smiled and went back to rummaging. “I’ll have you know I’m an excellent cook.”

Youngjae hopped up onto the opposite counter, watching Jackson wander around the kitchen in his attempt to find something to cook. He’d almost forgotten about his headache at that point. Hearing him mutter to himself was honestly really cute. And, well, Youngjae really should’ve been more panicked about having the actor in his kitchen about to cook him food. Yet … something about it felt nice. They still weren’t quite friends, but Youngjae figured this was a step towards that direction. Maybe part of him was convinced this was a dream. Either way, he was enjoying hearing Jackson quietly curse over his lack of spices.

“You know what goes good with soup? Grilled cheeses.” Youngjae kicked his feet. “The soup is gonna get cold if we don’t hurry.”

Jackson slowly put a box of noodles back into Youngjae’s cupboard. A box that he didn’t even know he had actually. “I’m so taking you grocery shopping tomorrow or something.” The actor reached for his sad looking loaf of bread, which was really more like seven slices — seven because Youngjae had a habit of single slices of toast — and then fished around his in fridge for the mentioned cheese. It was the nice, easy to melt kind; no sliced cheese for Youngjae. After a moment or two of glancing around, he looked to Youngjae for help; he pointed to the cupboard next to his right leg. 

“Cookware is in here. Spatulas are in the second drawer by the sink.” Both of which were on either side of Youngjae. His heart quickened a bit as Jackson got close, bending down to dig around for a pan. Panicked gay mode activated. Youngjae looked away and began kicking his feet again. 

The next half an hour seemed to pass in a blur. Jackson didn’t, luckily, burn down his kitchen. They chattered away like they were old time friends. It wasn’t limited to just  _ Locked Heart _ either, and Youngjae quickly forgot about the script Jackson had supposedly come to drop off. Things felt comfortable. Jackson whined about how grilled cheeses were a bad first impression of his cooking skills and Youngjae missed just how openly the man stared at him when he laughed. By the time they got around to eating the soup, because Youngjae insisted they share, it was barely warm. The two of them laughed about it. Neither realized how hungry they actually were until they began eating, and Youngjae smiled when his lips were hidden by his grilled cheese.

If this was truly a dream, he never wanted to wake up.

Jackson leaned back in his chair with a satisfied noise. “That hit the spot. I’m serious about the grocery shopping though! You have nothing!”

Youngjae waved his hand, mumbling from around the last bite of bread. “I get paid soon! I’ve just been too busy to go grab food.” He swallowed, reaching for his spoon. “I’ve been ordering takeout. I’m eating something.” That was … a lie, but it seemed to satisfy Jackson. After all, they’d said he’d fainted from dehydration and overworking himself, not lack of food.

The actor even washed the dishes, despite Youngjae’s protesting. By the time the entire ordeal was done, it was nearly eleven. Jackson set the script upon his shoulder and smiled. “You don’t have to push yourself too hard. We’ll film the scenes you missed when you get back.” Youngjae grabbed the papers and dropped them on his dining table, only offering a nod in response. “Don’t stress either. Remember, it happens.” Jackson retrieved the mask and his hat, putting both of them on.

“Yeah, yeah. You sound like soccer mom Jinyoung.” His head tipped back and he laughed; Youngjae was a little sad that it was obscured by the mask. 

“Good thing he wasn’t here for that! We’d be dead for sure.” He reached out, patting his shoulder. “When you’re feeling better, I’ll cook a proper meal for you. Something other than grilled cheese.”

Youngjae raised his shoulders in a shrug. “I dunno, it was pretty good. I doubt anything else can top it!”

A soft whack was given to his shoulder and Jackson laughed again. “Grilled cheese is hardly the pinnacle of my abilities!” His hand settled against the door handle. “I’ll text you tomorrow or something. See you later, Youngjae.”

“Thanks for the soup. I really appreciate it. See you soon, Jackson.” 

Jackson waved his hand in response and then he was gone. As soon as the door shut, Youngjae dropped to his knees and pressed his forehead against the cool wood. Everything bubbled up within him, making him feel lightheaded and dizzy, and he couldn’t stop the huge smile that graced his lips. Thank goodness Jaebum couldn’t tease him about this. 

As he curled up later that night to fall asleep, he unlocked his phone and stared at Jackson’s contact name. Gathering up the courage he needed, he sent a quick  _ tonight was really fun, thank you! _ and waited. Youngjae felt his heart skip a beat when the response came, a picture of Jackson making a heart with his fingers attached. He was pretty sure his soul ascended.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm predicting 7-8, maybe 10 chapters for this!  
> please let me know what you thought!!
> 
> edit; fixed some minor mistakes but there still might be a few scattered in!  
> this is also my first got7 / kpop fic in general so I apologize!


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